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They will make you feel like you are the one that is going crazy instead of them. You might worry about what you wear and what you say and freak out if someone changes your plans or something unexpected happens that you will have to explain later. You’re not quite sure what will set them off, but you are afraid that something you do is going to make them lose their temper… You might think that the Bears are the best football team–your partner will convince you that you are stupid for thinking so because they suck. They might talk about cheating on an old partner, or be proud of their reputation. You might want to go to the movies–your partner will make sure you go out to dinner instead. He or she might even brag about the fact that they have left a trail of tears behind them.Offer to help When you mention that you’re moving, or putting together some furniture, or looking for a new car, does he jump at the chance to help?Does he often look for ways he can be of service to you? If I don’t look for the silver lining…what is the purpose to the bad things that happen?! The truth is…I don’t know exactly why I’m still single. But something changed along the way and that’s not my experience anymore.Ask about “that thing”If you had a job interview you were nervous about, or a doctor’s appointment, a meeting about a possible promotion, or just something you had once mentioned was coming up and he makes a point of calling you up after to ask how it went, he is serious about you. You might try to talk about how you are feeling–your partner turns everything around and tries to talk about everything you’re doing wrong. Even when they hurt you, they make you feel bad for the pain it has caused them. They often don’t actually feel guilty about what they have done, only that they were caught. Other people might warn you about dating your partner–if they have a track record of abuse, most likely it is only a matter of time until they abuse you. Your friends and family wish that you would break up.
NOTE: We are re-posting this article on Warning Signs – Insults You/Calls You Names to allow you to read some of the excellent comments we’ve received from those who are or have been in an abusive relationship.
Our second early warning sign of abuse is: Insults you, calls you names This may seem like an obvious warning sign.
No one likes to be called names, even when it’s innocent teasing by friends.
DASH’s early warning signs are meant to guide you in determining whether your relationship is healthy.
In this series of articles, we will explore each warning sign in more depth so that you will have a better idea about what each sign means and if you need to address a problem in your relationship. You might be terrified of what your partner will say or do if you tell them. He used to put you up on a pedestal…and now all he does is try to tear you down. From little things to big things, you feel like your partner never listens. They lie about things they don’t need to lie about. They can swear on their life that they are not lying. A healthy person is consistent in the way they treat people, regardless of their status. Your partner has a bad reputation or a tradition of “messy relationships”.